The Ticket to Successful Summer Flirting:
Be a Chivalrous Chauvinist
By Jim DeBellis
Summer is in full swing, and it’s time to focus on every man’s favorite sport: Girls! Basketball and Hockey seasons are over. Football hasn’t even gotten to training camp yet. And Baseball – well, it’s still early in a very long season. So it’s time to give the ladies what they want from you all year long: your time and attention.
Ready or not, it’s time to approach some lovely ladies on the beach, in the clubs, or at a softball game near you. And when it’s “Game On,” you better have some “game” if you want to win the heart (and the body) of one of nature’s most perfect creatures.
Like the deer and the antelope, you have to put on a little demonstration of your manliness to get the female’s attention – but women are a mysterious breed, so you also have to earn a spot next to them with a bit of wholesome, adorable, and gentlemanly tenderness.
A “manly gentleman” may sound like an oxymoron, but we’re dealing with women here, so you’ve got to find that fine line between “bad boy” and “altar boy” if you want to push all the right buttons. Her body wants the hunky bad boy, but her heart wants a good and trustworthy man. Too much “bad” and she will classify you as a jerk; too much “good” and you will be relegated to the friend zone. You have to be bad enough to get her juices and her urges flowing but good enough for her to like you and trust you with the key to paradise.
It’s easier than you might think. After all, she was born wanting you, so she really wants to believe that you are worthy of her affection. And your ability to impress her is encoded in your DNA, so just tap into it. Just make sure you remember to be a man first and a friend second.
If you’ve got the motorcycle, the six-pack, and that rugged aloofness, the manly part may come easy, but the tenderness could be a challenge. If you’re built more like Jack Black or Jesse Eisenberg than Brad Pitt or Bradley Cooper, you may have to rely on humor, brilliance, artistic talents, or confidence to display your competence in the art of being a man – but you probably do pretty well with the charm and personal connection.
There are some easy and natural ways to get your flirt on that will interest and beguile her:
Eye contact immediately connects people on a very personal level and gives them a sense of already knowing each other – so look at her! If you can catch her looking at you, so much the better.
Then smile. A smile establishes trustworthiness and friendliness, and maybe a little playful interest.
Once you have “gotten to know her” from a distance, it’s time to use the power of your manly presence and bad boy confidence. Now is the time to invade her space. If she’s sunning at the beach, sit by her waist facing her, with your knees in front of you. Or lean right up next to her if she’s seated at a bar. If she’s the middle girl in a line of ladies on the bleachers at a softball game, walk up and, pointing to the one-inch space between her and the next girl, ask if anyone is sitting there.
These are pretty brash moves, but here’s the key: Don’t compound the bold manly action with a chauvinistic comment. Rather, be a cuddly puddle of gentlemanly sweetness and tender, heartfelt compliments. When she throws sand at you at the beach, just say, “Look, I’m not going to bother you. I just wanted to tell you that you’re the prettiest girl on the beach today. My name is Todd. Maybe we can talk or have a drink later.” Then give her an adorable smile, and nod like a cowboy as you say, “Ma’am.” Then get up and go…but check to see if she’s looking at you from time to time, and act accordingly. And don’t tell her she’s hot or sexy – that’s what pigs with one thing on their mind would say. Tell her she’s pretty, as a knight in shining armor would do.
Just as the moon moves the tides of large oceans, your manly presence so close to her, inside her personal space, will naturally make her heart flutter and cause a tingle of euphoria from the “happiness hormones” like endorphins that you release into her bloodstream.
So be a man, but act like a gentleman. Never be tentative or apologetic for claiming the space you deserve on this planet or your birthright to mingle with the kind of women you dream of – and who dream of a man like you. Treat the ladies well, but do it with the strength and confidence they want in a man. If you want your summer flirtations to produce the best results, try being a chivalrous chauvinist.